Good Enough
by Speedstreek360
Summary: Megatron loves Optimus…but he feels insecure about their relationship. (Transformers G1 Pre-war)


Hey everyone! Yes I am alive, don't worry and this is an early birthday present for my dear Morrigayn DeWyvern!

Warning: Interfacing

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Transformers belong to Hasbro.

Also, this is slash and an AU. If you do not like slash, please don't flame and just leave it alone.

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Good Enough

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It was strange being in a relationship. Strange. Unfamiliar. Wonderful.

Because you're not alone, you have someone there who cares about you and you can protect each other. But relationships were also fragile…breakable….if they are not handled carefully they can end in a snap. The connection that keeps the two beings together breaks and can be quite difficult to mend back to what they were before, though it is not impossible to do so.

The young silver gladiator watched his lover sleep from his place beside him, while his thoughts went into a small frenzy. He lightly traced his digits over the perfect, pearl white face plates, how the moon light shone on the barren proto-form of the beautiful mech beside him.

He took a moment take it all in, as he leaned closer to rest his helm against his neck.

Yet no matter how happily his spark beat against his casing at the nearness of the other mech, his doubts and fears plagued him.

Megatron felt his fears swelling up in him slightly, even as Optimus unconsciously pulled him closer. The silver mech felt…..felt nervous. It was an unfamiliar emotion to him, since he almost never felt it since he was a young child. He had never really known how to handle those kind of emotions, since he never really had a reason to feel them.

That is, until he met Optimus Prime. The Prime, who held the highest rank in the caste systems. The Prime, who should have been the last person he would think would ever look his way without lecherous intentions. The Prime who held his spark in his hands and could choose to shatter it at any time if he wished to.

But he wouldn't. Megatron knew the Prime would never intentionally break his spark.

So why was he so afraid of losing him? Why did he feel the need to keep him close to him when he could, when there was the threat of being caught together as a couple?

He was pulled out of his thoughts, when hands caressed up his back. He felt Optimus tightening his grip around him slightly and pulling his closer, like a sparkling would their favorite toy when they were in search of comfort and warmth.

The silver mech gave a small smile, before curling up against Optimus…and for the moment, he pushed his thoughts back as he enjoyed what he could of his lover's embrace in the privacy they were rarely given.

….

He left that morning without a word, only a note explaining where he was and that he would be back in a few with a guest. He needed to get out of that apartment for a moment, after staying in it since yesterday morning. The air around him was cold and made his circuits hum slightly when he took it in through his intakes.

He couldn't remember that last time he had such clean, cool air in his vents. He had spent so long underground for as a miner and gladiator that he had almost forgotten how it felt to have cool clean air in his systems.

Quietly, he walked along the streets that were beginning to bustle with mechs and femmes starting off their stellar-cycle, while he was enjoying the coolness surrounding him as he made his way forwards. His ruby optics swept over the streets for any signs of his expected visitor on this fine morning. He hoped to find him soon, he had a lot to discuss with him….

A small flash of crimson caught his optics, making him turn his helm in the direction of the small glimmer.

Amongst the crowd of mechs and femmes was a navy blue and while mech. He kept his face hidden by a mask of white and his optics hidden by a red visor, fitting well with how the tips of the buildings cast shadows over his frame as he stood there.

A small grin formed on Megatron's face plate, as he raised his arm, waving for the mech to see and come to him.

Soundwave straightened up slightly, as he made his way towards Megatron.

When their hands met and intertwined, Megatron pulled his friend forwards, patting his back as he embraced him. He hadn't seen the telepath for quite a while. Ever since Soundwave had been taken in by that Senator in Iacon, Megatron had mostly been left on his own against those of the Pits, but he knew how to keep himself out of trouble with his temper and he kept the fighting out of the arena to a minimum.

He could care less right now, as he felt relief at the sight of his old friend. One of the few mechs he could speak to and not expect negativity from. He trusted and loved Optimus to talk to him, but right now he needed someone he has known since he was a small child. They had much to talk about once he brought him back to the apartment.

…..

The light shined brightly into the berth room and glittered softly off Optimus' silver proto-form, the soft light creating a soft reflection against the wall to the Prime's right and moved as he stretched to awaken his body.

Out of habit, he patted the side of the berth to see if his companion had decided to enjoy the morning with him in the berth or gone off again for a little while. His servo met only empty space. His optics on-lined while his lips formed a firm straight line of a frown.

He saw a small data-pad in the place his lover was usually laying and he sighed with a small ache running through his spark as he read the note left by the silver gladiator.

He off-lined his optics with a sigh, as he placed the data-pad on the light blue nightstand. Megatron tended to wake up first before him and go out for a while and it was only a rare few times that the silver mech would still be lying there and seeming to be at complete peace.

A laugh, though muffled by the walls, could be heard coming from outside. He sat up slowly as the laugh was soon followed by conversation. He sat up, picking up pieces of his armor to place over his barren proto-form. There had been a mention of a friend visiting them.

…..

Ravage purred from her spot on the silver mech's lap, his calloused fingers caressing her ears and massaging over her back, as she stretched out.

Megatron drank some of the low-grade he had put out. Soundwave had removed his mask and visor the moment he had entered the apartment and had allowed Ravage to come out since she had become somewhat restless the moment they had Megatron in close proximity.

The casseticons had always seen the silver mech as somewhat another guardian, especially down in the pits. Though he was secretive about it, he cared for them. He kept them out of trouble when Soundwave wasn't around and anyone who attempted to harm them, he reacted with the rage as a carrier would their own creations.

However, considering their new living arrangements, the Casseticons had seen less and less of their second guardian and friend.

Coal black, hardened fingers trace over the delicate glass rim of his cube, the side of his helm resting in his servo. He felt…awkward. It had been three deca-cycles since he had seen the quiet mech away from Iacon. Since then, he's kept to himself and has not reached out to any of the others. He didn't trust them, for there was no room for trust amongst those about to die.

Soundwave was an exception, since he had never entered the Gladiatorial pits and he worked for a high ranking mech by the name of Ratbat. Optimus, he felt the utmost devotion to, but their relationship was risky and needed to remain undiscovered. He still had much to get used to and yet still a lot to hide.

Megatron sighed, wondering how he should go about his worries when he's been holding them in for such a long time.

"Megatron you appear troubled." the usually robotic mono-tone was replaced by a soft tenor, a near whispering voice. Soundwave tilted his helm at the way the silver mech's body seemed relax, but the waves of turmoil coming from his mind came to him in small, rippling waves.

The silver mech looked at him, weariness in his dimmed, red optics, "Nothing ever escapes you my friend…"

Ravage perked up slightly when the hand that had been petting her stopped in its motions. She looked up at him in a mix of interest and concern. She watched as her creator and carrier placed a hand over the silver mech's arm in a gesture of comfort. Like the way he touched Rumble and Frenzy's helms or backs to try and sooth them after a long day of work and in need of comfort.

"What troubles you?"

Megatron rubbed at his optics, sighing softly, "….the…..the…." he looked off to the side, as if to try and see if the words could be found there instead of rummaging through his mind to find them instead, "the relationship I currently share with one of the highest-ranking caste members of our society today….is what it troubling me."

The blue mech straightened up slightly at the words that fell from Megatron's lips. The first thing that hit his logically functioning processor was that something, some quarrel or remark, possibly a physical offense had happened. He did not take their Prime to be a mech of an aggressive and vile nature, but then again mechs of that standing had a way of creating a near flawless façade.

"Has he…done something of a troubling nature towards you?" he inwardly bristled at the thought. If the Prime harmed the silver mech before him, he'd destroy him first mentally, then physically.

The silver mech looked at him with wide optics, quirking one of the ridges in question, before realization hit and he gave a smile at his friend's protective nature, "No Soundwave, Optimus has not. He is actually quite…quite a kind soul….in fact, he's the sweetest mech ever met…."

Soundwave gave a soft sigh of relief, leaning back and relaxing in his chair, "Then…if he's not the problem, then…"

Megatron looked down into his cube, "I can't get the notion that he will leave me at the first opportunity out of my thoughts," his hand curled up into a fist against Ravage's back, "I feel that there is some…petty….little scraplet of a Cybertronian is going to take him away if I don't keep my guard up. I feel that when I'm around him, I have to watch what I say or do in fear that I would displease him and hurt him unintentionally. There are also….the fact…that the Council could find out….about us….If that ever happened, our relationship would be out in the open and vulnerable to attack….it's bad enough that I am barely able to keep him out of that pit-hole I'm forced to work in and that we've had to meet less and less…." he rubbed at his optics once he had released the cube.

His companion remained silent, while the casseticon feline curled up and nuzzled him gently to ease him. They did not speak, for they knew he was not finished.

"….every day I wonder how much more I can take with the thought that I could die any day in the arena….it's like I'm balancing on a wire between life and death, between my caste and my relationship…..All these possible scenarios keep plaguing my helm when I'm away from him, all of how this could end in the worse way possible…"

"Megatron," the soft tenor rose. Firm, yet soft and caring.

He looked to his friend, his optics dimmer than before, making the hue of them darker.

"I have seen how you two have interacted before I was called away to be an assistant," he gave a gentle, comforting smile, "I've seen how happy he makes you. And you barely realize how much joy you bring him as well…I may not know the Prime as personally and as deeply as you do, but I know enough that you matter a great deal to him…I also believe that I am not the one you should be relaying these concerns to."

The silver mech looked down slightly, his optics narrowed as he looked at Ravage. He took a sip of energon and looked to the window.

"…..what if he turns me away?"

…..

Optimus tensed as he heard those words form his hiding place beside the small passage way into the kitchen. He had overheard their conversation and had wished to listen in first before going in so it wouldn't seem like he was interrupting.

What he heard caused him tense and he felt a sudden urge to go right in there and hold the silver mech. He wouldn't though. Megatron was uncomfortable showing open affection and accepting comfort in the presence of others, especially in the outside world where anyone could catch them. He respected and loved the mech and never wanted to make him feel uncomfortable and saved his affections for when they were alone together and the world couldn't interfere.

Hearing these thoughts made his spark twist in his casing as slight guilt filled him. Was he really that closed off? Did Megatron truly believe he would leave him just like that? Didn't he know how much he yearned for and needed him, when in the loneliness from the towers of Iacon looking over the cold, faux city below filled with dishonest, rich mechs and femmes?

Did he know that he counted the hours between their meetings to see how long he had to endure the High Councilors trying to worm their way into his favor or trying to think up ways to distort his image to the people of Cybertron?

Unlike the bots of the towers, Megatron was more of a real mech than the callous and ruthless turbo-foxes that ran the planet. He wasn't afraid of being himself and he had issues, yes, but he dealt with them instead of leaving them to someone else to deal with.

It hurt that he couldn't talk to him about this though. He never intended to let him feel that way about their relationship.

He turned and walked away, as he attempted to think up something that would stop the plague of doubts within his lover's processor.

…

It was later in the day, the sun slowly setting over the horizon, as mechs and femmes attempted to get home in time. From the window of his apartment, Megatron watched the flickering, blinking lights below of Cybertronians in their alt. modes. Simple small blurs of white light moving in different directions, as they rushed home.

Soundwave had left mega-cycles ago, after Ravage had slipped off into recharge. After explaining his problems to his friend, he had felt like some of the weight had lifted off his shoulders. Now, his only problem was talking to Optimus about it.

As night began to sweep over, he backed away two steps and closed the panels over the window. The lights went slightly brighter within their rented apartment.

Megatron turned and walked towards the berth room. It was strange that Optimus had gotten up later than usual. Normally the mech woke up before noon or a little earlier, but today he was out of the berth and in the washracks by late noon. It was only slightly troubling, but he paid no more mind to it.

He went back into the kitchen and got low-grade energon out of the dispenser for his evening energon.

The cube nearly slipped from his grip at the sudden lurch he made when two, cobalt servos landed on both sides of his hips. Some of the energon in his mouth dribbled out past his lips.

There was a soft chuckle and then he felt soft exhalations of air against his neck as Prime places a soft kiss there. His spinal array shivered.

"Hello," the soft baritone form the unmasked soft lips against his audio sensors, made his spark beat increase slightly.

He turned his face plates and looked at Prime, with a small smile, "Hello Optimus…"

The silver mech was considered one of the strongest and solidly built mech to those he met. He was strong from the labors he's been put through as a miner and is strength only grew when he was a gladiator.

Then how was it that, he felt like his insides were slowly melting, making him slightly weak and filling him with warmth when Optimus held him the way he did now?

It was a like some strong power would possess him and make him forget his time as a gladiator in favor of being in this Primus sent angel's arms when he could. The world around him just disappeared and all he needed was right there.

"You feel stiff…" Optimus stated softly, moving one of his hands into Megatron's ebony one's, as he felt the tightened muscle cables of his lover's back through the thick, silver armor over the proto-form.

"Stressed lately, that's all…." was the soft reply.

Optimus hummed in thought, nuzzling against his shoulder. One of his arms moved to wrap around the younger mech's waist and gently tugged for him to turn around and face him.

Prime had his upper torso armor removed, revealing his proto-form, his body hardened and strong, yet smooth.

Megatron off-lined his optics as a hand reached up and caressed over his cheek and there was a kiss pressed to one of his optics. He felt the calloused servos move up and move in soothing circles around his shoulders and lower back.

"Has something been bothering you?"

If it were possible the strain on his shoulder only became worse, as those ruby red orbs flashed to meet the soft cyan optics. Taking in a deep intake, he took a moment to think of what to say.

This was an opportunity to talk about his doubts, his worries, his fears…

He opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was silence. It felt like there was a small block across his throat, keeping the words from leaving his lips. He tried to force them out, but all that resulted in was his vocoder cracking slightly.

Something was making his spark beat slightly faster, making his lack of words worse and worse. He felt the red armored arms pull him forwards and pale white lips pressed over his soft, thin ones.

It was like something went off and all he could do was lean against the older mech and become a trembling mass, as the gently hands of his lover moved over his body in familiarity, searching for the clasps to his armor to get to the proto-form skin beneath. It made his body feel like it was aching for touch, as he placed his servos over Prime's shoulder plating.

Next thing he knew, the Prime was nuzzling his neck, while he led him out of the kitchen, down the corridor and to the berth room. He felt the plating around his torso being removed and was dropped slowly to the ground in a fluid motion, before Optimus gently placed his servos back over the barren protoform of Megatron's upper back.

The silver mech found himself straddling the Prime's hips when his lover sat down on the edge of the berth and pulled him forwards. Both mechs had pelvic plating still on, and both just stayed like that for a moment.

Optimus took a moment to breathe in the unique scent of the mech he loved and adored. The soft scent of iron, steel and copper…..it was musty, yet it smelled wonderful to him. He took a moment to just admire the silver beauty before him, kissing over the soft metal skin and feeling the wires and cable struts beneath it thrumming softly when his lips touched it.

His hands caresses over the panels on the mech's chest and he stopped, and looked at it. He pressed his forehelm against it, taking in the soft aura coming through the needle tip thin cracks that hid away the pulsing mass that was all Megatron.

His own spark, the holder of the Matrix, thrummed in longing to merge with the other's spark and make the irreversible bond between them. So that his lover would forever be his and he could always feel him and send him the love and affection he deserved and take away the doubts he had heard from him earlier…..speaking of which…..

Their pelvic plating rubbed together and the Prime groaned as he felt his spike harden beneath its covering from the soft friction. He felt the mech in his arms shaking gently, as he reached for the clasps around the plating. He could feel Megatron's anticipation in the smooth body he held in his arms, as he moved his hands to open the clasps, but he paused.

He rubbed his lips over his audio, "Megatron…..do you wish to continue?"

There was a pause that seemed to go on for hours, before he got an answer. The black hands that had moved pillars in the mines and crushed mech's skulls, caressed over his face plates and he was answered with a soft, hoarse whisper.

"Please…."

The sheer need and desperation almost made the Prime pause. Caressing over the neck, questions flashed through his processor for a mere second….

Did Megatron fear this was all a game? Did he truly ever get scared enough that he believed he would actually leave him? That he was just playing with his spark for a good lay?

He kept caressing the neck, giving a slow kiss. He didn't break it, as he pulled back the clasps and removed the pelvic plating, throwing it across the room. He moved to nuzzle and kiss over the soft neck. He arched when Megatron leaned over and suckled softly on one of his antennae, a pleasurable heat running through him and his face plates warming up as well.

Servos caressed over his shoulders and he could feel the lubricant from Megatron's valve drip down over his leg. Cradling the silver mech's helm in one servo and pressing a gentle kiss against the segment where Megatron's neck met with his shoulder, Optimus moved back slightly, before turning over so he was on top Megatron.

Their lips met and moved fluidly together, ebony hands smoothing over the Matrix-bearer's back, feeling him. Megatron shook softly, letting out soft moans as they kissed.

The tasted of Optimus was tangy, yet with a soft, sweet bronze flavor to smooth it over. He always tried to kiss those lips and get the taste as much as he could. It was addictive.

Their kiss broke too soon for his liking. He moved to try and capture them again, but he froze and watched Optimus unclasping his own pelvic plating and watched with slight anticipation as his Prime revealed himself.

The first time Megatron had seen Optimus bared completely before him, the sheer size of him had made him slightly nervous. Now, after their experiences together, he always felt the excitement and arousal inside him filling him and making him ache for it more than the last time and overriding any anxiety in him.

He watched Optimus moved back over him and kiss him again, the mech's equipment rubbing up against the inside of his thigh. He groaned, as it pressed up against his own. Their abdomen's pressed together, as Prime positioned himself at the warm, heated entrance before him. Gripping the near-white grey thighs, he pushed in slowly, kissing over the closed spark chamber.

The beautiful creature beneath him tensed slightly at the sting that always came after being penetrated, a soft whimper escaping him, as Prime waited for him. Optimus kissed him again, this time, tenderly to try and sooth him as he replaced his arms around his waist and held him to him.

The first thrust caused Megatron to yelps, as the sting began to ebb away, making and leaving room for the pleasurable nodes to come alive inside his valve.

Optimus moved, groaning at the tightness around him. It still intrigued him how tight the silver mech still remained after all the other times they have interfaced. Not that he was complaining. He pulled back and leaned towards Megatron, pressing his helm against his. He traced over the harsh lines over Megatron's face plates, watching how those wild, burning red optics dimmed, and his mouth remained open in gasping intakes, his voice hitching.

Completely open and vulnerable to him.

Optimus smiled and rubes his nasal ridge against the younger mech's.

"I love you…." he whispered softly, driving harder into him, as overload began to build up and he searched for that one node deep inside that would have the silver mech screaming.

Red optics brightened and looked at Optimus with a mix of slight surprise, uncertainty, disbelief, joy and gratitude. He kissed one of the optics ridges.

"I love you….I have since that day we came together….and I always will love you….you will have no worry of that my gladiator…" he whispered.

Megatron stared at him for a moment through the pleasuring haze and pulled him down closer in a near death grip, before he arched when his deepest node was hit. He let out a shout, gasping and panting from the sudden rush of pleasure and arousal ran through his being. He gave a sob of need as he felt his inner core twisting and curling in preparation of the incoming overload.

Although, he knew Prime loved him, and he has said it a few times, the way he said it now, in the throes of their love-making, did it strike a chord inside him that made him actually believe it completely and without doubt if it was only to be for a brief moment….

He felt a warm mouth against his neck, and caressed over the light blue helm, as he heard more gently words of love, affection and devotion, driving back his doubts and fears, near obliterating them. A single tear slide from his optic, before both mechs overload in near unison.

The silver mech felt the red and blue one collapse on him as both began to cool down their systems. Shaky blue fingers reached up and caressed over his lips while warm intakes were breathed against his neck.

Gently, both mechs turned over on to their side together, still connected, but more relaxed. All tension on Megatron's body seemed to have evaporated.

Optimus gently kissed his face plates and proceeded to do so for the next few clicks. They didn't say anything and just lied there together, basking in the afterglow.

As sleep claimed them, Megatron drew himself closer to Prime and listened to the beating of his spark. The spark he hoped would one day bond with his, but not yet….not with danger lurking everywhere and the risk of being discovered.

He unconsciously curled closer. As long as he knew Optimus loved him and would never leave him, he was content. Until the day they could safely be bonded, just lying there, being with him and loving him in the brief moments they had, was good enough.

It was unfortunate though, that future events were going to drive them apart.

...

_"And I'm still waiting for the rain_

_to fall_

_Pour real life down on me..._

_Cause I can't hold on, to anything_

_this good enough..."_

_..._

Excerpt "Good Enough" by Evanescence and what inspired me to write this.

review please.


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